First Response

A group I'm in is struggling through a book, Amish Peace, by Suzanne Woods Fisher. Although there are some 'simple wisdom[s] for a complicated world,' my critical-thinking group has tired of its oversimplification.  However, today, starting the section on Forgiveness, I stumbled on some meat.

The first few chapters tell stories of unfortunate and, some, avoidable tragedies: the West Nickel Mines School shooting in October 2006 and various car v. buggy crashes. The Amish response to these tragedies was opening their arms, accepting all of those who were touched by it, not retreating into themselves or their community. How challenging.

My first response to hurt is to withdraw because of the pain, which may hold the one who hurt me hostage – especially if I never explicitly forgive her. Perhaps the Amish community-oriented lifestyle allows them to reach out because they live in a supported/secure environment. They never doubt the existence of a loving God (p. 153). [That's different.]

Talking with a friend yesterday, I reasserted my belief that we must allow the emotions of Grief to flow out – or else they will stay wedged in our hearts for too long, becoming toxic. Anger, frustration, and sadness can plant seeds of Doubt in the heart. Doubt in the existence of a loving God, doubt in His Truth and provision, doubt in our acceptance/adoption/inheritance as His beloved children.

All that I staunchly believe. But, I know that everyone grieves differently. I know that we are not trained in how to grieve. Our society does not want to acknowledge Grief as a part of Life, and so it ignores it as long, and as much, as it can. So, we must learn how to grieve while we are in grief, which extends the process.

“We just have to keep going on with life” (p. 154). True. Reality will not change, no matter how much we wish it would. Moving on is necessary. But I think moving on in a healthy way requires letting go of those emotions, which means working through them.

The Expectations I put on life are some of the toughest things to let go. I want to believe that I won't experience tragedy. [The reality is that I will.] I want to believe that my needs will be met. [The reality is that I am already Needy.] I want to believe that life will be smooth-sailing. [The reality is that rough seas are ahead.] I must hold to God as my Rock in the calm and in the storm. The whole Testament pounds the reality of His Faithful Pursuit into my heart. Every time Israel failed, God took them back. Every time I fail, He is waiting. Taking all my emotions to my Father helps me struggle through what I feel, what I don't understand, what I don't like.

Do I hold onto the belief that out of tragedy will come blessing? (p. 157).

[Do I Trust Him that much?]