Quick and painless

Why do I worry so much?

Money = Commitment

For those of you that don't know this about me, spending money is a commitment to what is purchased and its implications.

For example, I have not yet purchased a light set for my bike. Last week, after day light's savings ended, I rode home in semi-darkness. Only few points of the ride were truly scary, but it gives one pause. It is easier for me to request bike lights as a gift - something practical that I need and would use. If I purchase the set myself, I make a commitment - in my mind - to use them, ride in the dark more often. And I don't know if I'm ready for that. Aha!

So, you see why spending money to be Fingerprinted is a big step for me. It is a real commitment to the process of Adoption.

But, I know this is our path because obstacles jump in front of us whenever we take a step. Three months ago, the day after we started reading through the application requirements, we received a 20 day notice to vacate, throwing us into a tailspin of house-hunting on an impossible schedule. That crisis was averted - Praise be to God - but the steps (and therefore challenges) have only begun.

Last night, several issues tried to stop us from going down to the Police Station. First of all, Bryce came home late - not his fault, but it happened. We had 20 minutes to eat and get out the door...which we accomplished, but then, in haste to clean up, a sauce bottle dropped to the floor, spilling glass and tastiness all over the floor - another 5 minutes gone. I quietly cursed Satan for so obviously getting in the way.

Fingerprinting is only offered at specific times; we had 20 minutes left. We sped down the hill to the station. The whole building was dark, but it's the Dark Season in Seattle these days, when the sun sadly goes down before 5pm, so I didn't worry. Three cars were parked in the lot. The front door was open, but not the second security door. The window was closed - they closed early! I was disappointed. It takes me awhile to work up the courage to take steps like this one...and not completing the step is a let down.

Even after writing the date three times during the day, hearing special Veteran's programs on NPR, reading FB friends grateful statements to those who serve our country, I did not remember it was a holiday until my small group members pointed it out!

Foiled this time - but, next week is coming...

Getting Fingerprinted

So, in order to apply for foster parenting and adoption, we have to be fingerprinted and send for a FBI report.

At first it feels weird, like I'm untrustworthy or something. Like I might be a Criminal. Like I AM one...

Then, I found out that school teachers and insurance professionals have to be fingerprinted. Well, maybe it's not too bad. I highly esteem those professions and the people who dedicate their lives in services.

A dear friend of mine also helped me process through this weird hurdle. God went through HUGE hoops to bring us into His family. Why should following in His footsteps be so easy? I actually do want systems in place to protect children. Boundaries should be erected because there ARE monsters out there.

It's just a new experience for me to start one the side of Possible-Monster and slowly step through the many gates put in front of everyone, ordinary people trying to do extraordinary things.

We must error on the side of protection.

This process requires Patience.

But I will be found a capable, loving parent – by the Grace of God -- eventually.

God Knew

My church is studying Ephesians this Autumn. The most amazing part of Eph. 1:1-10, this time, is where Saint Paul asserts that God chose us to be adopted before He created anything (v4-5). He didn't begrudgingly adopt us after He saw there was no other way or after we made such a mess that He had no choice but to fix us. God knew before anything else existed and He still went through with everything! God knew we would fail. God knew His Son would have to sacrifice, suffer a painful death and separation from the Father – something Jesus never knew until the day he died - yet, he still said 'Yes' to his Father and to us. God knew we couldn't do His work alone. God knew He would need to step in. God proved He was Faithful, knowing the cost and choosing us anyway. Amazing Love, how can it be?

I think that is the part of God's nature that is very foreign to my human nature. I often don't continue in a direction if I know what will happen, especially if it involves pain. I work so hard to avoid pain, even if it is short-term pain that will bring about great gain in the long-term. God is so different than I am. And I am so grateful.