This (Super-)Natural Universe

In thinking about my absolute dependency on God's power, I often focus God as Creator. His power can be made very evident in relationships and in minor and major miracles, but our daily lives are much more affected by the world we live in. While among us we'll probably disagree about the exact mechanics of *how* God created it, bible-believing Christians all agree that he is the Source and Sustainer of this universe we inhabit. And in my better moments, I marvel at the almost literally incredible wonder of it; the natural seems to me supernatural.

I am physically a bundle of 64 billion billion billion sub-atomic particles, spinning around each other, bonding in groups, very precisely arranged, in such a way as to make a living breathing being that can move, think, dream, and act as a vessel of that intangible, immortal, supernatural thing we call a soul. Incredible.

Power

I don't know about you, but I don't want to come to the end of myself. The idea flies in the face of all conventional wisdom, and against every fiber of my self-protecting and loved-one-protecting nature. Yet, as David Platt puts it: "This is how God works. He puts his people in positions where they are desperate for his power, and then he shows his provision in says that display his greatness." He used God's defeat of Jericho through Joshua as a reference, and he didn't even mention the top-notch military training program God used a preparation: circumcision. Yeah, that sounds like great preparation for an attack on the enemy. God's ways are certainly not our ways - his power loves those who hate and dies to live.

Which leads me to question: Do I really want more of God's power in my life?

Or do I just want God to give me more power?

Surrendering to God

I have a very hard time with surrender. Though I disdain the typical DisneyLand presentation of Christianity (get in line, bow your head, pray after me, and punch your ticket to happily-ever-after), I struggle to translate the idea of self-abandonment to Christ-centered life into my words, will, and actions. I know that part of the problem is my small view of God. I don't realize just how words-can't-describe his love, grace, truth, and justice actually are. And if I have a small view of the object of my faith, how life-forming, adversity-overcoming, and sustainable can my faith really be?

The true gospel is both a revelation of God's character (*very* good news), and a revelation of our utter need for him (whether acknowledged or not). As I continue to learn how amazing God is, surrender seems to me the only reasonable response. And for us Americans, the nuts and bolts of our surrender is in relying on God's power instead of our own. Here are two ways that come to my mind:

1. I need to have eyes to see the many blessings in every moment, every breath, every person, and every landscape created and sustained by the Creator of the universe. It is through God's power in me and all around me that I live, not of my own design.

2. I need to allow myself to be led into situations where my power is inadequate. How many times have I felt that faint hint of a prompting and instead I brushed it off as uncomfortable, inconvenient, or unimportant? I can think of three instances in my last month.

Grandma Psalm

A phone call can change everything...

Tears jump to my eyes as I hear a dear one share news that my last living grandmother suffered a major stroke this morning during her Bible Study group.

I don't even know why I'm upset; I've never lived with her, never shared more than occasional visits with her. My parents moved away before I was born and my life is separate from hers. And Yet...

She is part of me. She is one of the reasons I am here at all.
She was faithful to her Father God when most of her loved ones turned away. She persevered.
She pressed on, passed on her faith. Her daughter continued on that journey with her. And Then...

Her daughter birthed a daughter, far away from the house she grew up in, far away from the heat and the familiarity of Home...and made a New Home with the same center: Jesus.

I know the gift of this Faith Legacy. I know how important it is to watch others work out their salvation; it builds a strong foundation unawares until it's rocked by unexpected storms and holds fast.

I know this Life is fleeting. I know she is drawing nearer to her Father each day. And it still hits hard...

I know she will soon be Free, but waves of shock and sadness wash over because she was not made to go through this Death. She was made to soar - and she will soon enough.

Again, I see the threads of God's handiwork. Before I knew this news, I read Psalm 90 this morning.

 ¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
   throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
   or you brought forth the whole world,
   from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

 ³ You turn people back to dust,
   saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
⁴ A thousand years in your sight
   are like a day that has just gone by,
   or like a watch in the night.
⁵ Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
   they are like the new grass of the morning:
⁶ In the morning it springs up new,
   but by evening it is dry and withered. ...

⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath;
   we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ Our days may come to seventy years,
   or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
   for they quickly pass, and we fly away. ...

¹² Teach us to number our days,
   that we may gain a heart of wisdom. ...

¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
   that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. ...

I haven't taken the time to say, Thank You, Grandma; but, I am so grateful for You.

Untether her, Lord, from bondage to a broken, deteriorating body. Fly away, Beloved Dorothy.
I look toward the day when I will sing praises to Our Lord with you.

Frederick Buechner on Love

"The love for equals is a human thing - of friend for friend, brother for brother. It is to love what is loving and lovely. The world smiles. The love for the less fortunate is a beautiful thing - the love for those who suffer, for those who are poor, the sick, the failures, the unlovely. This is compassion, and it touches the heart of the world. The love for the more fortunate is a rare thing - to love those who succeed where we fail, to rejoice without envy with those who rejoice, the love of the poor for the rich, of the black man for the white man. The world is always bewildered by its saints. And then there is the love for the enemy - love for the one who does not love you but mocks, threatens, and inflicts pain. The tortured's love for the torturer. This is God's love. It conquers the world."

Quoted in Francis Chan's Crazy Love

The Truth of the Incarnation: Sexuality

“It is precisely the men and women who are dedicated to spiritual leadership who are easily subject to very raw carnality. The reason for this is that they do not know how to live the truth of the Incarnation” (Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus). 

As a woman who struggles with several aspects of my sexuality, I had to ask:

What is the truth of the Incarnation? How would I live it?

Again, my women's bible study teacher shared this list in her lesson: by John MacArthur, based on Philippians 2: 5-11. By taking on flesh, Jesus:

1. abandoned sovereign position
2. became a servant (of God & His will)
3. became fully human and approached sinful people
4. adopted a completely selfless posture
5. ascended as Supreme Prince

This is a list of what I came up with, responding to: How does one live that?

1. We do not have a sovereign position to abandon. However, because of Messiah's work on the Cross and our acceptance of His covering, we are now co-heirs with Him. We do have a place in His Kingdom. Therefore, we are instructed to bring others into the Kingdom also, not just to revel in our position.
2. As God's children, we recognize Him as Father, the Guide of our lives. Focus on Serving God, performing His will. Often that will include serving others, but they are not our focus, or boss. We must follow Messiah. Sometimes that will include walking alone with only Him for company.
3. We cannot hide our humanness, sins, weaknesses, failings. We must find one with whom to be vulnerable, confess, and receive forgiveness from. Let someone be Jesus to you.
   1. We must practice 'No condemnation' toward others. Work to accept, instead of judge, them. Sin is sin to God. There is no hierarchy.
   2. Embrace your humanness (not the sinful nature or flesh, but the fact that you are a creation of the Living God). Lean on the Scriptures that speak of God's love for you and all people, His knowledge of your needs, and His desire to meet them, like a loving parent.

4. JC left complete Independence and received Dependence. Follow Him. Become Dependent on Him and others in the community of believers. We were created for relationship. Part of relationship is putting yourself aside to help others get ahead (Phi. 2, MSG). JC not only chose to become human, he chose (every moment) to remain human. He could have gone back at any time. Yet, his focus was on the eternal prize – us (Hebrews 12).
5. Because we believe Him, we will be raised up with Messiah. Because we share in His sufferings, we will also share in His glory (1 Pet. 5:1, Phil.3:10-11, Rom.8:17, 30, 2 Thes. 2:14).

It seems cruel to have to deny ourselves. Yet, so much of what we want is not the Best for us. It may be Good, but it's not the Best. Or, it may not be so good. [How can I really know? I'm not omniscient.] If I believe that God created me as I am, every detail, for a purpose, then I'm justified in being mad about the parts that conflict with His Word and instruction. However, if I believe that He created me but, for now, I am imperfect because I am bound to this fallen world, God wiggles off the hook; He's not the creator of my sinful desires. I have needs. And God knows I do (Mt. 6:8). But, He also said that He is more than enough to meet all my needs (2 Cor. 12:9). Do I believe it? Do I live it?

It's especially easy to become embittered about sexual needs (real and perceived). God has guidelines for a life that will please Him. If we love someone, we strive to please them. When we shift our focus from them to us, we are more likely to act unlovingly. Today's culture resonates our sinful nature, whipping up the idea that we must be gratified right now: I cannot wait. But God encourages patience in everything.

Isa. 30:18

“Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;

he rises to show you compassion.

For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait on him!”

Waiting is not something we like to do. It is hard. It feels pointless. We don't understand why the waiting is necessary. I can see now that if I had married any of the guys I dated before Bryce, it would have been disastrous. I did not know what I wanted, what I needed, or even who I was or wanted to become. After meeting Bryce, I got a clearer picture of the best woman I could be. [Hindsight is a lot closer to God's sight.] He was the first guy who was serious about his faith and who tried to live it, even if it meant putting me off temporarily.

Tit. 2:11-14

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men.

12It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions,

and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,

13while we wait for the blessed hope – the glorious appearing

of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,

14who gave himself for us to redeem us

from all wickedness and to purify for himself

a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.”

He is coming back! Let us eagerly await Him, doing Good in His Name until that day.

Worthy of the Call: Confession

In my women's Bible Study, we are chugging through the book of Philippians. One of the study books, Living the Letters: Philippians, collects excerpts from various books and asks questions to draw out the main point of the text and newly illuminate its topics. This is an excerpt from In the Name of Jesus by Henri Nouwen, for Philippians 2: 1-8 on the topic of 'One Another.'

“The sacrament of Confession has often become a way to keep our own vulnerability hidden from our community ... How can priests or ministers feel really loved and cared for when they have to hide their own sins and failings from the people to whom they minister and run off to a distant stranger to receive a little comfort and consolation? How can people truly care for their shepherds and keep them faithful to their sacred task when they do not know them and so cannot deeply love them? … It is precisely the men and women who are dedicated to spiritual leadership who are easily subject to very raw carnality. The reason for this is that they do not know how to live the truth of the Incarnation.”

Mr. Nouwen's work is always challenging for me read. I wish the I could read context of this excerpt. What are the passages that surround it? How does he recommend resolving the issues he raises?

He takes no time in raising two central issues to the Christian life: Confession and Sexuality. I will divide my thoughts between two posts. [One of the most challenging things about blogging is to condense volumes into one digestible kernel of Truth. These posts will represent only where I am in wrestling with these life-long topics at this very moment. My views are subject to change, if God wills.]

It is very interesting that those who focus on spiritual leadership “do not know how to live the Truth of the Incarnation” and so are “easily subject to very raw carnality.” It rings true. How many pastors and prominent evangelists have fallen to adulterous behaviors? So many that I practically expect it. It seems only a matter of time before another scandal arises – and that is truly sad.

We must pray for and hold our leaders accountable, all the while remembering they are human, too. We must not be tempted to hold them to a higher account than we are willing to submit to ourselves. Clearly we must stop this double-standard pattern and lift our leaders up to the Only Perfect One. We must trust that He is always at work, crafting each of us into a more perfect and new creation. We must allow our leaders to be human, to be real, to struggle, to come to us for help and prayer. Confession is not a popular topic. It is an even less popular practice. But it is essential if the Body of Christ is to function well. The Apostle Paul challenges us in his letter to the Ephesians:

“I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.

2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace” (4:1-3).

I heard a gifted teacher, Karen Kutz, last Autumn (2010) illuminate this idea. Living a life 'worthy of our calling' is to remember how impossible the calling is, but how amazing that God gives us the ability, in small steps as we follow Him, to start fulfilling that calling. She reminded me how easy it is for anyone to slip down the slope: anyone could be a monster. The only thing that keeps me from it is God's Grace. In humility, we should hold onto that knowledge – God's Grace is the only rescue, the only redemption. And when we choose to follow Christ, to accept the Father's adoption (Eph. 1:5), we must extend the Grace we hold onto out to others, especially our brothers and sisters in Christ, especially our spiritual leaders. Let us not fall for the Lie that some sins are worse than others. [That is another post.]

Yes, we must challenge leaders, ourselves, and everyone, to strive for excellence, but we need to come down more often on the side of Grace rather than Judgment. “For it is by Grace you have been saved...it is a gift from God” (Eph. 2:8-9). We must Practice Grace, leaving the rest to God.

Bryce's Faith Story

I'm finally ready to share the story of my faith as it has wound through my life. I'm going to warn you all up front: it's not pretty. If you don't want to hear me talk about ugliness that most everyone experiences in life, and my struggles with it, then you may not want to click through to the story. I assure you that I'm not sharing anything here that I'm unwilling to discuss with anyone in person.

So without further ado, my story: