Chosen (WIL 17)

I spent the first twenty years of my life trying to become something I'm not - normal, ordinary. In effort to assimilate myself, I dressed a particular way, educated myself on language and topics that are Hip, listened to trendy music, worked to make my Faith Safe for others and for myself.

I spend the next ten years resigning myself to my differences, then learning (slowly) to glory in them, to Value my honesty, my transparency, my Beliefs. I've grown to see myself more as God does and to love who He is remaking me into - the woman He intended all along.

"We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised form the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life" (Rom 6:4).

Last year, God confirmed a call He's been placing on my heart. (A calling is something I: do for God, receive; it generally promises difficulty and even some suffering, but is an opportunity to be used by God. A Calling generally leads to downward mobility. (If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat, Ortberg.)) After gaining much ground in Relishing my qualities and character, He is calling me to look, in one exterior aspect, like most other people my age. He has called us to Parenthood - not only Biologically, but through Adoption as well.

One comfort I've had through this journey of valuing who I am, and am becoming, is my similarity to my family. They are supportive and understanding exactly when I need them to be. We have complementary personalities and giftings. We perceive and approach the world the same ways. We struggle with many similar issues.

Yet, this week, I heard the questions: What if they don't understand this Calling? Would you still follow?

Jesus lamented: "No prophet is accepted in his hometown" (Luke 4:24). He was a Prophet, but the people who knew Him best could not accept His Calling from God, to be humanity's Perfect Lamb, our Savior.

God's work and calling is always easy to put off, always easy to assign to someone else's plate. Being a Christ-follower is a Good Thing, as long as it's not dangerous, doesn't cost anything unreasonable, doesn't require Me to Go.

In his book, The Hole in Our Gospel, Richard Stearns compares Christians to sleeper cells, waiting for directions from Christ for action. "We were confronted with a choice, which required us to reorder our priorities and our lives to become completely available to God, without conditions. We had become radioactive, post-resurrection Christians. We had joined the social revolution envisioned by Jesus for His coming kingdom in a deeper way than ever before" (p. 247). When they chose to move to Seattle, they said Yes to God in ways they hadn't before.

God has done a marvelous work in me, but He is now calling me to sacrifice my Desire to be Different from others. In learning to value my uniqueness, I am enabled to see more through His eyes. Now, like Abraham - called to sacrifice his beloved son Issac, I am called to lay down that which I've worked long and hard for. In return, God promises "to do immeasurably more than all [I] ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within [me]. 21To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Eph. 3:20-21).

What I Learned Series (WIL, Intro)

Last week, at the end of 2009, I was inspired by my husband's verve in posting quotes and thoughts in response to Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Cost of Discipleship. 

I've thought about blogging for several years, but always felt I was too private to even dream of putting my journal, or my thoughts out there for everyone to read - if they wanted. However, reading through Bryce's, as well as watching a great friend blog weekly for the last (very difficult) year, I jumped in. Uncharacteristic, I know.

Framing my new blogging experience as: What I Learned (this week), I attempt to make manageable bites of life. Fair warning, some weeks may be less than revelatory, for example, "Compost is Excellent Building Material."

As a new blogger, writer, I am under no delusion that I'll have many - if any - followers for some time - if ever. However, as I told my husband after reading his recent offering, we have to write for ourselves long before we write for an audience. Besides, it's a reasonable argument that when an author focuses too much on the audience, rather than serving the story, readers see right through it and dub it poor writing.

Thanks for embarking with me on this crazy adventure. God's up to something.

-R