Professional Giving (WIL, 11)

The March 2010 Special Feature article in Habitat for Humanity's magazine, Habitat World, addresses correlations between stable, low-cost housing and children's educational scores. Student mobility is named as one of the "most detrimental characteristics of housing problems" (p. 21), by the author, Rebekah Daniel.

Sid Ong, an elementary school principal near Portland, OR, says: "[Habitat's model is] a great model for kids to see how a group of people can come together and make something positive happen and not have a vested interests...they get to see their parents really building something that is the underpinning bedrock of the family itself. They look at that and say, 'I can accomplish anything. I can give back.' They want to go to college and become a professional in such a way they want to give back" (Habitat World, p. 23).

Hold the phone...you have to become a professional to give back?? This is news to me. I thought volunteering your time, watching out for neighbor's kids, and cooking meals for new parents qualified as 'giving back.' I thought giving involved gifting resources, not being paid to do the work. What does that phrase mean, anyway? Giving: offering yourself and resources. Back: the past, a body part, ability for labor, to support, as with authority, influence, help, or money. Giving Back: giving of myself or resources (or physical strength) to...what's behind? No, I don't think that's what he meant.

What I interpret Giving Back to mean is a repayment of opportunities received that were made possible by something beyond the recipient's sole power or influence. Repayment is an obligation, not part of Giving, which is supposed to be Free. Giving is about Sharing Hope. However, we lose a lot if we think of giving as fulfilling an obligation or repaying a loan. Giving is about the Giver as much as the Recipient. Pursuing a career in service to others - medicine, education, engineering and building - is important. But, I fear that pursuing a field just to Give results in quick burn-out and fatigue. The admirable student's passion to 'Do Good' can fade under the Crush of the Needs at hand, robbing the skilled professional of reserves necessary to Give Joyfully, out of a full cup. Thus, 'Giving' careers easily become just careers.

Let me just say: It's great that these children see a tangible example of a community building itself. If only we all had the privilege of witnessing, being a part of building the place we will live, establishing a new space along with other neighboring partners from the ground up. I think it's right that they should be motivated by their parents' hard work, building a home for the family, and work harder at schoolwork. I agree that children should have the opportunities to pursue a higher level of education than their parents.

Mr. Ong uses a catchphrase that could be interpreted several different ways. Even though he is a child professional, he projects their thoughts and reactions as they watch the Habitat process; the reader is forced to accept his guess at a child's response. There is no child interview. His assertion that children's desire to learn increases with homeownership is plausible, but his correlation that being a profession is the way to be a productive part of society is flawed.

Yet, perhaps the phrase: Give Back is about Gratitude, wanting to Give in Return for something you've been given. Perhaps having a career allows them to Give Back because then they will have resources to give from. Noble goals. I hope children all over the world who directly benefit from Habitat's work are inspired to those goals. But, we need to be more specific in our language, saying what we mean, avoiding cliches.

And, remembering that everyone is a part of society, an agent of change, encourage each other in all the ways it is possible to give back, not just with a career. We are all responsible for our neighborhoods, communities, cities, nations, world.

What I rail against is the idea that only professionals have something to offer a community. I think this idea is fostered by a society that has become self-centered, but I think it is also dishonest. It does not take into account that some naturally give and others do not, that communities used to be based more on helping each other. I think it's a stark contrast these days because no one asks for or offers help to another person. Helpers are seen as suspicious. Only salesmen knock on my door these days.

Everyone has something to give, regardless of income, education, or time available. Everyone has experience that I can learn from. Everyone's opinion matters. We are each unique and we relate to the world in a unique way. Certainly resources and education impact these things. But let's not overlook that people are valuable to each other just because we are people. Let's stop looking for what we can get and start looking at who they are.

Eating Alone

I don't like to eat alone. I never have. Growing up I found the I enjoyed being in the kitchen, especially baking. When I moved out for college, I found that it was too hard to cook for myself. I chose ready-to-heat-then-eat items, returning to the pantry two or three times before I completed a meal. I was depressed and lonely. But that's only part of it.

I do cook for breakfasts, usually oatmeal; once in awhile I will treat myself to a German-fried egg (some of you may know it as 'Toast with an Egg in the middle'). It is one of the few things from my Grandfather's legacy that I care to remember and imitate. I improved the tradition, however, by serving it with ketchup. Breakfast of champions!

For lunch, however, I piecemeal things together. A piece of banana-nut bread (no butter), three tablespoons of yogurt, some fruit. Dairy, fruit, and carbohydrates are staples for my finicky stomach. It never complains about them. On warmer days, I snack on carrots with peanut butter or hummus. On cold days, though it's hard to put things together. Leftovers are not always appealing (for no good reason) and I don't want to cook for every meal...what's a girl to do? And I love cooking, trying new recipes, new foods - but not by myself. Ironic.

Although I love my time alone, eating highlights relationships. Sharing a meal with others is always a wonderful experience and it's just not the same by myself. Mealtimes remind me that I am designed to live in community. I harbor competing characteristics: I deeply value my solitude and I love to cook for my loved ones. I marvel at how complex and unique we humans are.

Give me a call if you want to do lunch.